Sunday, March 30, 2008

old school black momma's

When subscribers/viewers send me good stuff like this, I have to share it with you. Enjoy!

There used to be a time when Black children were the best Behaved children in the world, now look at them, Time out my foot!!!

1. Have you ever been called downstairs from upstairs orThe back of the house, or from the front of the house to Get the remote, change the channel, or bring her a glass Of ice water?

2. Have you ever been hit with an extension c ord, a switch, Or the nearest shoe?

3. Have you ever had to pick your own switch off theTree and she sent you back because the one you picked was too little?

4. Have you ever been burned on your ear with a straightening comb?

5. Have yo u ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a comb or Hair brush?

6. Have you ever been told to "Shut up or I'll give you something To cry about" out while she beats you with a belt pronouncing every Syllable, "Didn't---I---tell---you---not---to-do---That---no---more?!"
7. Your ponytails or plaits were so tight, you got those little bumps around your scalp
8. The white people in the school office (principal, secretary, etc) Were afraid of her?

9. You were scared to go home when you had a bad report card?

10. Alcohol, peroxide, cocoa butter, and Vaseline were the main Items in the bathroom cabinet. And that red hot water bottle hanging behind the bathroom door?

11 You were never "on punishment" - just got whoopingRight out of the shower.

12. Have you ever been pinched for going to sleep in church?

13. She made you participate in every church activity(choir,Sunday school, ! Junior Usher Board, Easter play, Christmas Play, etc.)?

14. Has she ever come inside and picked you up from school Dance in hair rollers and her gown or pajamas on under her Coat?

15. When you ask her for something, her response was.."You got a job?"

16. Have you ever been beaten for something your brother Or sister did just because you were around?

17. She vacuums everyday just so the carpet can haveLines in it

18. Have you ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the Phone, or sit down and be quiet when it's storming outside Because the Lord was doing His work?

19. Friends, family and friends of the family try to keep you Out of trouble because they know your mother and how she is?

20. You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline (because you Weren't allowed to use the phone without her permission)?

21. She had to talk to God.. "Lord, please don't let me hurt this Child!!!" before she gives you a whipping

.22. You knew NOT to talk about what went on in your house with Anybody (other family members, friends, school authority, etc), Because you were told, "What goes on in this house, stays in This house!!!"

If you can relate to any of these things, then pass this on to ALL Your friends and see if they can relate to "KNOWING THAT THEY HAD A BEAUTIFUL BLACK MOTHER, WHO DIDN'T TAKE NO MESS WHEN THEY WERE GROWING UP!"GOD BLESS OUR BEAUTIFUL BLACK GRANDMAS, MAMMAS, AUNTS, SISTAHS, NIECES & GIRLFRIENDS....

Saturday, March 8, 2008

wanna be like Oprah?
start right where you are!
start with your closets, basement, or whatever you're not using,
remember there's someone out there who can!








so where will you begin?
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Sunday, March 2, 2008

don't know if it's inspiration, but it sure is funny

Master Card Wedding

You've got to love this guy.
This is a true story about a recent wedding that
took place at Clemson University . It made the
local newspaper; even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the
groom got up on stage with a
microphone to talk to the crowd.

He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming,
many from long distances, to support them at
their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's family & to especially thank his
new father-in-law for providing such a
lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted
to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped
to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the
wedding party, was an envelope.

He stressed
that this was his gift to everyone, & asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his
bride having sex with his best friend, the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks
earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions
for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said,
'F--- you!' Then he turned to his bride & said, 'F--- you!'
Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said,
'I'm outta here.' He had the marriage annulled first
thing the following morning.

While most people would have cancelled the Wedding
immediately after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing
were wrong. His revenge--making the bride' s
parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest wedding & reception, & best of all,
trashing the bride & his best
man's reputation in front of
300+ friends & family members.

Do you think we might get a Master Card
'PRICELESS' commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends:
$32,000...
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion:
$3,000...
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui :
$8,500...
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10
glossy of the bride humping his best man:
Priceless...
There are some things money can't buy,
for everything else there's
MASTERCARD!
'Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,
it's more like a jar of Jalapenos - - -
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.